How To Help Coaching Clients See The Patterns Holding Them Back

For coaches, it’s not uncommon to notice recurring problematic behaviors in clients long before they recognize it themselves. The challenge is to lead a client into those same observations as collaborative insights without making them feel defensive, judged or admonished for unknowingly doing something “wrong.”

Some of the most catalytic breakthroughs happen when a skillful coach asks thoughtful questions and then gives a client enough space to come to their own conclusions about the behavior. Here, our founder Kathy Shanley joins Forbes Coaches Council members to share lessons they’ve learned about helping clients see patterns they could not see on their own, and how to guide such moments with greater clarity and care.

Challenge Self-Doubt With Evidence Of Accomplishment

One client wanted to advance their career, yet a pattern kept repeating. As opportunities arose, he either wouldn’t apply or would apply and hold back on advocating for himself. To break that pattern, we uncovered his inner critic: Compared with others, he felt “less than.” I asked, “What would you need to believe about yourself to go for it?” We challenged his story with evidence of his accomplishments. Soon, he began advocating for what he wanted and was later promoted. - Kathleen Shanley, Statice